booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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