Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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