is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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