I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
