Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
