That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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