when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
