She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize