I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
bring money and cleavage
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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