ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
