I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
