he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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