Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
