who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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