Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
