I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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