Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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