I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
