So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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