he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
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You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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