Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
