You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
