8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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