dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
