What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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