What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
