i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
