No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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