Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
