You made me cry and you don't even care
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
