ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
