I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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