I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
