Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
