Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
