ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
