I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
