Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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