I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
