Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
