Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
