I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
only you would photoshop your dick
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We are all done wearing pants today
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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