i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
