we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Randomize
