My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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