bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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