bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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