I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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