We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
