what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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