My first STD was from a foam party
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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