I want to have your abortion
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
