I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
