I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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